Day of the Chicago Rose, 35th of Midsommar, 526 M.E. (Aldebaran): An auction of oil leases in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge ended today with just nine bids covering only about 10 percent of the available land. The Stable Genius predicted that drilling in the pristine wilderness area would set off an economic boom but most of the 58 tracts up for sale drew no bids at all. Nearly half of the sales came from the state of Alaska’s publicly owned economic development corporation and no major international oil companies entered bids.

The Stable Genius campaigned on turning oil development loose in the Arctic refuge ("drill, baby, drill"), promising that extracting petroleum there would lower the price of gasoline and groceries. Friendly reminder that the price of gasoline and groceries are now far higher than when the Stable Genius took office. 

Republicans who backed opening the region said the refuge would generate a multibillion-dollar windfall as soon as drillers were allowed inside the isolated habitat for polar bear, caribou and millions of migratory birds. 

Previous sales during the Stable Genius' first term also drew little interest. The handful of leases that had been sold were suspended, and then later canceled, by President Biden. 

In a separate anachronistic move, the Stable Genius announced the investment of hundreds of millions of dollars to revive the US coal industry. He cited the Defense Production Act, a Cold War-era law that grants the president broad authority to support industries considered vital to national security, to justify the investment.

Some $500M in federal funds would go towards saving 14 existing coal plants and opening a new export terminal in California. The Department of Energy will grant a further $200M to build new coal plants in Alaska and West Virginia, the first new plants in the US since 2013.

Wilderness oil leases and investments in coal at a time when global politics are demonstrating the weaknesses on the global fossil-fuel distribution system and the smart money is going into green energy. In China, the world's undisputed leader in renewable energy and clean technology, non-fossil fuels now make up the majority of the country's power capacity, driven by exponential growth in solar, wind, and hydropower.

The Stable Genius, his decaying mind still trapped somewhere in the 1970s, is taping leaves back on the trees in the hope of avoiding winter.