Day of the High Lists, 29th of Midsommar, 526 M.E. (Aldebaran): The memories of a man in his old age are the deeds of a man in his prime.

Another memoir, but don't worry, this one isn't nearly as long as before. It's quite short in fact, and didn't actually happen to me, except that it was a story told to me. I didn't believe it then and I believe it even less now, but it's amusing, really more of a joke than a story.

Anyway, an attractive young woman I once knew, who was quite aware of her attractiveness, was pulled over for speeding just outside of Atlanta. As the policeman, a Georgia State Trooper, approached her car, she could see him in her side-view mirror suck in his gut a little and put a big grin on his face. She knew the warning signs that, once again, she was about to get hit on by some random dude, this one a power trip. 

"Miss, just how fast do you think you were going?" he asked, as he leaned one arm on the roof of her car and leaned in close to her face through the open window.

"I don't know, officer, " she answered, "but just let me go and I promise not to go that fast again."

"Miss, Georgia State Troopers don't dismiss offenders on just a promise," he answered. "I'm going to have to issue you a citation."

"Do you really have to?," she pleaded. "It's not all that big a deal."

"We'll let the judge decide how big a deal it is or isn't," he said.

"Look," she said. "What do I have to say? I mean, I bought a ticket to the Policeman's Ball."

"Miss, Georgia State Troopers don't have balls," and when he realized what he just said, his face turned beet red, he turned around and walked back to his car, and drove off without issuing her a ticket.

I mean, cool story, sister, but I still don't believe it. One liners never work out that well IRL.