Metropolis Death and Being

 

I seem to be recovering from a long - maybe decade-long - depression. 

It probably started when I became disillusioned and disappointed with my career, formerly a central part of my life. The election of Donald Trump to the Presidency and his awful, hateful term in office didn't improve my disposition. Then came a directionless retirement, followed quickly by the covid lockdowns and uncertainties. The tree that fell on my house in October 2020 and the ensuing year of contractors, insurance headaches, and expenses weren't exactly helpful. 

I gained weight, fell out of shape, and became listless and inactive. My depression didn't manifest as a "woe-is-me" sadness, nor as an inability of feel joy like the pharmaceutical advertisements suggest. It was more just a stop to engagement with the world, a loss of any long- or short-term planning, and a lack of attention to housecleaning and personal hygiene.

The episode probably climaxed a year or so ago when I wound up in the ER with a bladder infection caused by incomplete emptying during urination. That forced me to get medical attention, which didn't address the mental health issues directly, but instead focused on getting my runaway hypertension under control, some urology to improve bladder health, and an advisory for exercise and diet to beat back a prediabetic prognosis.

It was the exercise and diet that made the difference. Once that was underway, I lost over 40 pounds and got my blood pressure under control. I had more energy, and that gave me more ambition, and that led to more engagement in the world beyond the walls of my house. Eventually, I resumed my dormant meditation practice and started reading more (and books, not just websites and social media).

We think we're these complex psyches that need some combination of therapy and pharmaceuticals to conquer things like depression and mental illness. Maybe some of you are and perhaps some challenges may require all of that, but don't underestimate the rejuvenating and healthful benefits of taking long walks, eating non-processed foods, and focused mindfulness. And kindness to pets and accepting their love back.

Worked for me.