"When I was little, I went into a pet shop and they asked how big I'd get." - Rodney Dangerfield

While washing the dishes today, by hand, a song came into my head.  One of the benefits of hand-washing dishes is that it allows you little moments of quiet contemplation.  Anyway, while quietly contemplating my dishes, a song sprang more or less fully formed into my head.  I can't say if I wrote the song or if it already existed on some other plane of existence and just sort of found me, but most of it came to me in one fell swoop and the rest came as I wrote it all down.

I have no musical ability and no means of conveying the tune, the rhythm, or the melody, so here's just the lyrics.  So basically, this is either a painfully amateurish song or, without the music, the world's shittiest poem, but for better or worse, here it is:

I wish that you had friends
So that you could make amends
For all your insults. 

Whatever you achieve
All your women seem to leave
And say "Good riddance." 

Is it true that you believe
That the Chinese still deceive
About the climate? 

Is it so hard to conceive
That black mothers can grieve
For all their dead sons? 

And why do you suppose
That the love that you oppose
Is such a problem? 

The laws that you propose
Only serve to assist those
In your own bracket. 

As the hatred ‘round you grows
The advisors that you chose
Remain stone silent. 

And no one really knows
If your mind just simply froze
While watching Fox News. 

I wish you were my friend
And you’d let me put an end
To all your insults.