This contest may be the defining moment in a long and great struggle, a showdown between competency and crassness, between the forces of good and those of the bad, between freedom and tyranny, between an era of hopeful promise and the end of the world as we know it.
Yes, tonight, the Atlanta Falcons take on the New Orleans Saints on Monday Night Football.
Just kidding, the stakes are far higher than the outcome of any mere football game: the Boston Red Sox can potentially clinch the AL East in the three-game series starting tomorrow at Yankee Stadium.
Ha, ha, ha. Enough. As most of the civilized world knows, the First Presidential Debate between Secretary/Senator Hillary Clinton and short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump is this evening. Although these debates never really change anything and if your mind is not yet made up between the two candidates, I sincerely doubt tonight's debate will convince you one way or the other, but an outstanding performance by either one of the candidates and a poor performance by the other might rally the winner's base enough to turn out and vote and win the election for their candidate.
I can still hope.