Fun.

Despite the current financial difficulties, I still believe that I have more fun than any other person I know.

This is not to imply a life of non-stop entertainment or of meaningless leisure, but instead a profound appreciation and enjoyment of each moment as it is, or at least of as many of those moments as I can remember to savor.  From time to time, I'll admit that I forget and find myself caught up again in worries and anxieties, or sorrow and self-pity, but before too long I can usually catch myself and think, "Ah, so that's what worry or sorrow feels like. Let's enjoy it,"  and then even that can be fun in its own sort of way.

Not to sound too Forrest Gump-ish about it, but life is like one really big buffet.  Every dish may not be to your liking, but at the same time, all of your very favorite foods are also included.  So when faced with one of the dishes that you don't like, rather than increasing your own suffering as you work your way through it, you can be open-minded and just experience the sensations as they are - the taste, the texture, even your own revulsion - with the knowledge that the next dish will be different, for better or worse.

Today, I wrote a large number of checks, settling my final property tax burdens as well as other sundry debts, and as a result, divested myself of over a third of my remaining savings.  With my economics in particular and The Economy in general looking very uncertain, I felt that familiar pang of anxiety, of worry, of  despair.  But when I also considered the way things are forever changing, I realized that no matter what might happen, they'll always be a next thing until there isn't any more.

So far, I've lived an extraordinarily diverse and fulfilling life.  At times, it hurt, was frightening, sorrowful, and felt uncertain, and at other times it was quite pleasurable and satisfying.  But both sets of circumstances really shouldn't be viewed as two sets of polar opposites, one to be avoided and the other to be pursued, so much as they are sort of like bookends for each other, each one defining the beginning and the end of the other.

At 57 years old, I figure that I've got 10, maybe 15 years left, so why should I squander the little remaining time not enjoying the hands that life deals me, whatever they may be? Every one of us can call our life whatever we want it to be, and if "fun" doesn't work for you, choose the label of your preference, because ultimately it's your and nobody else's decision.

The secret to maintaining an attitude like this is to develop the self-discipline to maintain the mindset that you want, when you want it, for as long as you wait it.  The secret to developing that self-discipline is nothing other than sitting meditation, not as some sort of blissful retreat from everyday life, but as an exercise in focusing the mind for use in everyday life.  It's not unlike going to the gym - you don't necessarily go just to get away from everything else (although I suppose that some do) but to improve your physical conditioning and health so that life outside of the gym is healthier and better.  The analogy isn't perfect, but I think it points in the right direction.

Everything is going to be alright if you have a broad enough definition of what "alright" is.