11

Probably my favorite character in the film "Little Miss Sunshine" was played by Alan Arkin - the junkie grandfather with a heart of gold, who argued, "At my age, you'd be crazy not to do heroin."

He has a point. At the age of 75, why not do something that will kill you in 15 years? Chances are, you'll be dead anyway. HIV takes 5 to 10 years to develop into AIDS after initial contraction. At some age, it's probably acceptable to have unprotected sex with a prostitute, assuming you're going to die within that time span anyway. And how long does smoking take to kill you after you initially take it up?

I'm in my early 50s and am not about to take up narcotics, tobacco or risky sexual behavior, but I am starting to question some of the safe-guarding behaviors of my earler life. I treasure a clear mind, don't particularly enjoy cigarettes and as for risky sexual behavior, one puts one's partners at risk as much as one self.

But what vices can I start to safely pick up at this point in my life? Gambling? Drinking? Associating with gangs? The risks are different at 50 that they were at 25 - I can handle a greater amount of financial loss, but a stint in jail will be harder to recover from. I can tolerate some long-term health hazards, but I find it harder to recover from a hang over.

Any advice on what new liberties are available to me would be most appreciated.

If I were diagnosed with a terminal illness, and told I had a finite number of years left, there'd be no reason not to pick up the crack pipe and make a call to an escort agency, would there? But life is a terminal condition (no gets out of here alive), so what's holding me back now?