Sunday, August 20, 2006

A while back, I ran across the blog of someone I had met on line. We shared a couple of telephone conversations, including one rather longish talk, but never met in person and that was about the extent of our involvement with one another. No hard feelings, but I think we both arrived at the conclusion that we weren't quite right for one another.

Regardless, there was one thing that she said in her blog that I found particularly interesting, and I have taken the liberty of quoting as follows:

"I've come to realize that for me dating is a lot like traveling to a foreign land! It is about meeting new people, making new friends, exploring other cultures, being open to new beliefs, and connecting with other intellectuals. It is far less about romance, though that is a goal, it is a byproduct of the rest.

"If we all looked at dating like this rather than as a job interview (which it can sometimes feel like!), we might come away with an expanded circle of friends and increased wisdom rather than just another two hours with a stranger. Finding others to connect with is often clouded by inappropriate expectation and even a bit of dread about what the "date" may hold. Better to advance with an open heart, an open mind, and open eyes and come away with the unique gifts each individual brings."

She had posted this several months before our conversations. However, this idea and attitude have stuck with me ever since, and if nothing else, our brief and "virtual" date opened my mind to a healthier way of looking at the dating experience - not as a "pass/fail" test but as an opportunity to increase one's own horizons.

1 comment:

GreenSmile said...

ironically, since nervousness or tension [job interview mentality] is seriously off-puting when trying to relate to others on a more personal level than employment entails, the attitude toward dating that is suggested here makes that byproduct of connecting on a romantic level MORE likely than it is for those who are all keyed up to strive for such a connection.

kinda like trying for happiness or competing for enlightenment.

very interesting aquaintences you make, Shokai.