Riding the Ox Backward

Yesterday, I had lunch with my friend and Zen mentor Arthur. In addition to a great many other topics, I explained to him how I was no longer interested in continuing my practice with the goal of achieving recognition and reward, specifically referring to any kind of accreditation or title.

Arthur at first misunderstood and thought I was saying that I was not interested in pursuing my practice any further. I explained that quite the opposite was true - in order to truly pursue practice, I felt a need to give up attachment to goals and to recognition. All of this was stemming from a comment the Roshi had made earlier that day about giving "credit" to the senior disciples for attending out-of-town retreats and sesshins. I was saying that I was not interested in seeing how much "credit" I could rack up in any given amount of time, I was more interested in merely pursuing practice for the sake of practice. If "credit" accumulated during the process, that was fine, but it will not be the reason for my practice.

"I see," Arthur acknowledged. "You're ready to start riding the ox backwards."

The ten ox-herding pictures are an ancient Chinese pictorial allegory of stages of spiritual development. The ox is a lost, untamed beast, and represents our true mind. The seeker searches for the ox, at first only finding footprints and later catching quick glimpses. With time, the seeker gets a hold of the ox and begins a long arduous struggle to tame the beast. In the sixth picture, the seeker is finally riding the now-tamed ox home, and is often pictured as sitting facing backwards, and casually playing a flute.

In the sixth picture, the seeker is confident as to where the ox is taking him, and does not need to look forward or try to guide the ox. The ox is heading home, and the seeker can just go along for the ride.

Now, the 10 pictures do not represent sequential stages of spiritual development. That is to say, it would be a mistake to assume that one advances from the first picture on to the second, and so on. Various aspects of our selves are usually in several different "stages" simultaneously, and it is not correct to perceive recognition of any one such "stage" as some sort of achievment or advancement. Once such a notion arises, that part of the self is back searching for the ox again.

No, Arthur was recognizing that I am continuing in my practice, but not with any goal in mind, although it is recognized that exactly that kind of goal abandonment results in achievment of the very goals being abandoned. Riding the ox backward, with no care as to where it is going, is the most sure and direct route back home.