Surely, these are end times. The signs of the apocalypse are all around us for those who can see:

1. In Oregon, a cat gives birth to a one-eyed kitten, a true cyclops.

2. Paleontologists have found the missing link between fish and land animals, a finned creature with rudimentary elbows, hands and toes. In addition to confirming a major transition in evolution, the fossil is a powerful rebuttal to religious creationists, who have long argued that the absence of such transitional creatures are a serious weakness in Darwin's theory.

3. Archeologists have found the long-lost Gospel of Judas, which turns the historical and theological teachings of the other Gospels on their heads. Discovered in the 1970's in a cavern near El Minya, Egypt, the document circulated for years among antiquities dealers in Egypt, then Europe and finally the United States. It moldered in a safe-deposit box at a bank in Hicksville, N. Y., for 16 years before being bought in 2000 by a Zurich dealer, Frieda Nussberger-Tchacos and was given the name Codex Tchacos. When attempts to resell the codex failed, Ms. Nussberger-Tchacos turned it over to the Maecenas Foundation for conservation and translation. The manuscript will ultimately be returned to Egypt, where it was discovered, and housed in the Coptic Museum in Cairo. The Gospel of Judas is only one of many texts discovered in the last 65 years, including the gospels of Thomas, Mary Magdalene and Philip, believed to be written by Gnostics. The Gnostics' beliefs were often viewed by bishops and early church leaders as unorthodox, and they were frequently denounced as heretics. The discoveries of Gnostic texts have shaken up Biblical scholarship by revealing the diversity of beliefs and practices among early followers of Jesus. Elaine Pagels, a professor of religion at Princeton who specializes in studies of the Gnostics, said in a statement, "These discoveries are exploding the myth of a monolithic religion, and demonstrating how diverse and fascinating the early Christian movement really was."

4. Scooter Libby admits that it was George W. Bush, the "President" of the United States, who authorized the leak of CIA files to the press, which makes Russ Feingold's call for censure seem downright anemic: the man should be immediately arrested for espionage, treason and contempt of Congress, incarcerated and impeached. In an interesting footnote to this, W. got into a confrontation with a heckler at a speech today over the illegal wiretapping the "president" authorized, and he said he would not apologize for listening in on phone and e-mail conversations of Americans talking to people with suspected al-Qaida links. W. either still doesn't get it, or more likely, is deliberately confusing the issue - it's not about whether or not it's the right thing to do (for the record, it's not), it's about whether or not the "president" is lawfully allowed to order illegal wiretaps (he isn't). Bush broke the law, and needs to be held accountable for this, as well as for the CIA leaks. And to think, Clinton was almost impeached for lying about whether or not he had sex with an intern.

But, anyway, the surest sign of all that the apocalypse is upon us is:

5. Apple Computers are going to start running Windows software.

What's next? Flocks of birds flying upside-down, plagues of locusts, Wormwood?