Forget the stolen Iraqi explosives. Forget the shortage of flu vaccine. Forget the embarrassing lapse in military intelligence that led to the ambush and execution of 49 freshly trained Iraqi soldiers. The Bush Bulge continues to be the real talk of Washington. On NBC's "Meet The Press," Tim Russert seriously asked an administration official what was up with the hump. The official responded "Perhaps he was picking up signals from Mars, Tim," and laughed it off as something for conspiracy nuts. When Russert pressed him again by saying "No, seriously. People are truly curious," the official again laughed the question off and "chalk(ed) it up to bad tailoring".

Today the president tried to lay it to rest once and for all on ABC's "Good Morning America," by confessing, "I'm embarrassed to say it's a poorly tailored shirt." The problem with this explanation, of course, is that the presidential tailor in question turned out to be French -- a man with the classically Gallic moniker, Georges de Paris. And that instantly raised a troubling question in red-state America: What the hell is George W. Bush doing outsourcing his tailoring needs to some Frenchy named "de Paris?" And why does he need to go overseas when Paris is obviously less skilled at producing a smooth-fitting jacket - or shirt - than any off-the-rack designer at Bloomingdale's?

The headache for the White House only got bigger when The Hill ran a photo of de Paris, who was revealed to be an eccentric-looking gnome of a fellow, with a shocking white cascade of curls that put one immediately in mind of, well, a French poodle. A miniature one. Unless the president enjoys being made to look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame (written by another Frenchman) by incompetent -- or perhaps malicious -- Parisian gnomes, it's time for Bush to explain why he's not bringing this American job back home.