Oh, Look, Another Hurricane

 Is this really what we need?  In frigging November at that?

I'm still recovering from Zeta.  The tree that fell on my house is gone now and I've got a lot of tarp up on the roof, but I'm still waiting on Allstate to decide how much damage is covered and how much isn't, and thus how much money they'll be paying.  I don't want to start the repair process until I know how much is on my dime and how much on theirs, so there's still big gaping holes under the tarp on the roof and gutters hanging off the house at odd angles, so I'm pretty vulnerable to rain damage.  Fortunately, the weather's been dry since Zeta left the state (good riddance!) but rain is forecast for next week as Eta passes by.

This episode has been a good test, a living laboratory, for comparing Zen practice to Stoic philosophy. The stress of the situation, the daunting amount of work ahead of me, the heartbreak of seeing my house so damaged sometimes feels like more than I can bear.  What comforts can these two ideologies offer me?

Zen would say that if the current situation causes me suffering (anxiety, depression, fear, anger), then my practice just isn't deep enough yet and that I should meditate more until I can accept the situation with equanimity.  That's not helpful here and now - I might be able to accept some similar disaster in the future if I stick with my practice, but meanwhile, I'm just sort of deficient if it bothers me, so the suffering is my fault.  Not very helpful.

Stoicism asks me what I can do about the situation, and if there's something that can be done to go ahead and do it.  If there's nothing that can be done right now, can I accept the situation as it is? If yes, then what's to worry about?  If not, then go ahead and suffer, but know that I am suffering because that's what I'm choosing to do. In fact, if I want, I can choose to use this setback to practice how much I can tolerate, to strengthen my endurance muscles so to speak.  Much more helpful, and of immediate usefulness.

I call my personal practice "contemplative stoicism,"  combining what I've learned from Zen with my own ideas on what Stoic philosophy has to say (who knows, I could be completely wrong, but if it works for me what's the harm of misinterpreting Epictetus?).  Examine my mind and question myself as the Stoics taught, but also practice meditation as a means of keeping my practice focused.  It's been working for me, more or less, for over a year now, and it's kept me from freaking out over the situation up over my head.

We'll see how well it works when Eta's rains arrive in Atlanta.