ROM Celebrates Another Birthday

This is the day of your ego,
A personal celebration just for one.
This is the era of yourself . . . 

Twenty-five days into retirement, the Retired Old Man (ROM) finds himself at yet another birthday, his 65th.

Self-delusion is an interesting thing.  Although he had long considered the age of 30 to be "old," when he finally turned 30 he redefined "old" as 40.  And then later as 50 on his 40th birthday.

On his 50th birthday, he finally conceded to "middle-aged," but held on to a vain belief that he looked and came off as "young for his age."  Confusion set in at 60 as, not allowing him to think of himself as "old," he didn't know how to classify himself.

Today, he (I) turned 65.  Mandatory retirement age in some professions.  At long last eligible for Medicare and Social Security, that most tenuous of safety net in American culture.  What hair he has left is gray, he can't keep weight off, and where did he leave his glasses?

It's actually liberating to finally acknowledge you're old.  No one expects very much of you when you're old, so anything even remotely tech- or culture-savvy is a pleasant surprise to folks.  It's almost like being a precocious child again - you're praised for being able to walk to the store for groceries by yourself until you're about 12 or so, and then again after you're 65.  In the years in between it's no big thing - at least that much is expected of you - but in the years outside those bookends, it impresses people.  When you're old, women aren't expected to be attracted to you, so it's not a blow to the ego when heads don't turn as you walk by.  Staying home and puttering about the house becomes a symbol of success ("he can afford not to work") and not of failure ("he can't find work in this economy?").

The British post-punk band The Au Pairs recorded (That's When) It's Worth It in 1982, when I was 28. At some point or another during almost every birthday since then, I've heard Lesley Woods singing "This is the day of your ego" in my head.  

"It's difficult making it without faking it one way or another.  You got to wade through your ego and confess. You got to stop being so repressed before you may discover you could make it for real.  That's when it's worth it."

But now that the ROM finally acknowledges that yes, he's no longer young, the song takes on new meaning for him.