Let's Shut Down the Superb Owl

Look, we're not saying the game shouldn't be played - we're looking forward to a New England victory - we're just saying no one should go. The game is at Atlanta's Mercedes-Benz Stadium, and according to the interwebs:

"Beyond the hotel rooms, food, and everything else involved in visiting Atlanta for a day or two, the seats themselves are wildly expensive. On average, Super Bowl ticket prices range between $3,000 and $6,000, according to TickPick.com's co-founder Brett Goldberg. Of course, as the game gets closer, a number of factors go into the whole economics of it all, namely which two teams end up facing off against one another. Also, unless you have an inside connection or get hooked up through work, the bulk of the tickets up for grabs now are only available through the resale market. At the time of publication, the cheapest ticket available on StubHub was $3,650 for a corner spot in the Upper Bowl, while the most expensive was a whopping $475,000 for a suite near the 20 yard line."

So basically, the game isn't for the fans but for the one-percenters, corporations, and expense-account tycoons.  The elite get to enjoy the experience (if watching from "a corner spot in the Upper Bowl" for $3,650 is your idea of enjoyment) while the real fans have to watch from home.  Economic disparity much?

And then there's New Orleans' complaint that they were unfairly eliminated during the NFC Conference Championship.  The Saints' fans are calling for a boycott on the game, and some are even going to court to sue the NFL and demand the game be replayed.

The NFL had the hardest time finding musicians willing to play the Halftime Show.  It was generally assumed that performing for the NFL implied tacit approval on their black-listing of Colin Kaepernick and would weigh in on the wrong side of the kneeling-during-the-anthem controversy. The NFL eventually settled on the dismal pop band Maroon 5, a selection that excites exactly no one, not even Maroon 5's own mom.

So this year's Superb Owl seems doomed from so many angles, a game that's somehow destined not to be played anyway, so here's what we need to do.  This government shutdown has already gone on way too long (one day would have been too long) and something's got to be done to stop it.  We propose that the TSA and the air-traffic controllers all go on strike or stage a sick-out starting a few days before the big game, effectively shutting down all air traffic in the U.S.  Those who've sacrificed their children's inheritances  to pay for tickets won't be able to attend and the media, publicists and various hangers-on will have to ride Amtrak or take a bus to Atlanta (that'll teach 'em!).  Vendors, sponsors, and advertisers will be left out in the cold in their frozen fly-over towns, and the whining and protestations will be deafening.  Congress will have no choice but to reopen the government the next day, but then would still have to eat crow at town-hall meetings for the rest of the year for ruining their constituents' Superb Owl.  

If you want Congress to budge on the shutdown issue you gotta hit them where it hurts, and taking away their Superb Owl is the most high-profile and visible way of hurting them.