I Get Mail . . .

Hi Shokai,

I am trying to practice mindfulness in my daily activities but somehow I end up feeling kind of robotic in doing so, like I am micromanaging every action of the day. Suggestions?

in gassho,
A.

Dear A.,

I understand what you mean when you say that actively trying to practice mindfulness can get robotic. In fact, constantly repeating the mantra "I must be mindful. . . I must be mindful" can get in the way of mindfulness itself. In many aspects of our spiritual practice, trying to achieve a goal, be it mindfulness, compassion, or enlightenment, actually prevents us from attaining it.

When Zen Master Joshu was told that "Ordinary mind is the Way," he asked how to attain it. How can we be "ordinary?" He was told that trying to move toward it was actually moving away from it. Any self-conscious attempt to be "ordinary" is in fact anything but "ordinary." We can only achieve "ordinary-ness" by not trying to be "ordinary" and just acting naturally, without consideration of "right" or "wrong" actions.

So it is with mindfulness. While consciously examining ourselves and wondering "Am I being mindful?," "Am I being mindful now?," and "Can I be more mindful?," we step in front of a City bus (or similar but less catastrophic experience). To be mindful, we need to quiet our mind and be at rest and at peace, so that without the interference of noisy thought, we are receptive to our surroundings and activities.

This, obviously, is practiced in sitting meditation. With time, we can bring the still and quiet mind cultivated in meditation to our everyday activities, including work, play, relationships, etc., and practice this mindfulness in everyday life. But to force the process is, well, to force the process.

Mindfulness will eventually manifest itself in your daily life when it/you are ready. In the meantime, just keep an open mind and be confident that the practice of meditation will cultivate mindfulness. But to try to be mindful may be the least mindful thing you can do. This might sound counterintuitive, but we make great effort not to make great effort.

Hope this helps. Please let me know if you have any more questions.

-s/

Dear Shokai -

I do see your point about mindfulness (or any other focal point of practice). I think for me I have trouble (and discomfort) with non-action, like I feel like I have to be doing something constantly (in this case, doing mindfulness). I have been quite surprised at how difficult it has been for me to simply sit in zazen. My monkey mind is quite strong and active.

much thanks,
A.

Dear A.,

Your trouble and discomfort is sitting still is pretty universal. Even though many appear to be quite still and serene on the outside while sitting, the internal turmoil is not visible to the eye. The monkey mind is indeed strong and active. It probably applies to monkeys as well, but it's been said that there are two ways to train a wild mustang - beat it into submission, or just let it rebel and gallop around until it finally tires out and submits. In Soto Zen practice, we choose the latter strategy. Instead of doing something to quiet the mind, we just sit and observe it as it churns and gyrates. Try not to engage the thoughts, but don't try to suppress them either. With time, the mind will naturally quiet down and at that moment, mindfulness can arise.

Using another analogy, Zen Master Dogen once asked if you're in an ox-driven cart and want to move faster, do you beat the ox or beat the cart? In this analogy, the ox represents the mind (the intention to move toward the destination) and the cart represents the body (the vehicle in which we move through life). In everyday activities, we achieve our objectives by beating the ox - setting our priorities, selecting our goals, and anticipating the rewards of achieving those goals. That's what Dogen calls beating the ox. But in Zen practice, we achieve our spiritual objectives by beating the cart, that is, using the body. More specifically, by forcing the body into a sitting meditation posture and maintaining that still, quiet posture despite the body's objections. By "beating" the body (cart), the mind eventually settles. Beating the ox (mind), just makes the ox more active.

In everyday, secular life, we set goals and objectives for ourselves and try to reach those goals and objectives by imagining the rewards. In spiritual practice, we need to let go of our goals and objectives, be they calmness, mindfulness, or even enlightenment, and just practice in the moment solely for the sake of practice and without consideration of our goals and objectives. Mindfulness will arise naturally when we stop trying to be mindful.

This is why a week-long retreat is good. We push our bodies to their physical limits and sit still for as long as we can, beating that cart toward the destination.

in gassho,

-s/