The Clear Streams, 29th Day of Autumn, 526 M.E. (Castor): As if we don't already have enough to worry about on top of the erosion of our democracy and the decline of the amerikan economy, diarrhea lettuce, collapse of the AMOC, masked goons with electric gloves, rogue AI agents, and Cornell University frat boys, now scientists are raising concerns about an ocean phenomenon known as the Kelvin wave. As the Super El Niño supercharges storm surges and flooding in the coming months, a  Kelvin wave could raise sea levels along the California coastline by up to a foot 

Unlike crashing waves at the beach, Kelvin waves are planetary in scale and span thousands of miles. A Kelvin wave is created when trade winds that usually blow from South America towards Asia die down or reverse in El Niño years, setting off a massive, slow-moving slosh of water. When that eastward slosh of water hits the high Andes along the South America coastline, as one such wave did last August, it has nowhere else to go and the water surges north towards the Pacific coast of the United Snakes. 

The wave could reach coastal California within the next few days and when it does, sea levels may raise by up to a foot for months as El Niño lingers and keeps the warm water trapped along the coast.

"The major cities of the world are being destroyed, one-by-one, by the monsters: Moscow by Rodan, Peking by Mothra, London by Manda, Paris by Baragon. And here's a special news bulletin: Kelvin is now in L.A. The city is being invaded by Kelvin!" - Destroy All Monsters, 1968 (adapted)