Tremendous and Sheer, 6th of the Dog Days, 526 M.E. (Castor): I finally beat Volgin last night and have moved on in the game, for those of you keeping score at home. 

Back in 2009, I came across an enthused coworker in the office. He was hunched over his phone, and let out a loud cheer over what he was seeing. When I asked what he was so excited about, he said that it was just announced that the 2016 Olympics will be held in Rio.

"You a big Brazil fan?," I asked.  He didn't look or sound Brazilian. No, he answered, he was just glad that the Olympics hadn't selected L.A., because newly elected President Obama had been lobbying the Olympics Steering Committee to bring the games to the U.S., and he didn't want Obama to get any credit. For anything.

I thought his attitude was narrow-minded and bigoted, not to mention unpatriotic. But now, some 17 years later, I find myself in a similar situation. I was glad last night when I saw that the U.S. Men's National Team had been eliminated from World Cup competition by Belgium. Not that I'm a big Belgium fan, but the Stable Genius got himself involved in the competition by petitioning FIFA to overturn a red card against star U.S. player, Folarin Balogun. FIFA complied, the first time a red card suspension had been overturned since 1962. 

The Stable Genius had put his fat, stunted thumb on the scale in the U.S.'s favor, and so I was glad the team lost because I didn't want the Stable Genius to get any credit or to hear him gloat. I have become just like that coworker who was so excited that the U.S. had lost the Olympic games to Brazil.

The irony about the Stable Genius' intervention was the player in question was only eligible to play for the USMNT because of the Constitution's birthright citizenship clause, which the Stable Genius had tied to get annulled. Balogun's Nigerian mother had visited the U.S. while pregnant, and gave birth to him on American soil after she was denied boarding on a flight home by an attendant concerned about her medical condition (she understandably didn't want to assist a live birth at 40,000 feet over the Atlantic). So basically, he's against birthright citizenship except in cases where he thinks it might make him popular.

The Stable Genius fucks up everything he touches. He's ruined the White House and is working on ruining the rest of D.C. He's ruined the Presidency and the U.S.'s reputation and popularity abroad. He's ruined countless U.S. agencies. He ruined America's 250th Anniversary and he's ruined the World Cup. He's like a reverse King Midas - everything he touches turns to shit.

The Stable Genius is a malignant tumor on the undescended testicle on the American body politic.

Go, Belgium! We're all Brussel Sprouts now!