The Inlet The Reddening

Officer: Sir, are you okay?

Me: Mmmpff

Officer: Are you hurt?

Me: No. I'm okay.

Officer: Are you sure? Are you all there? What day is it today?

Me: The Inlet The Reddening

Officer: What? What day is it?

Me: The Inlet The Reddening

Officer: Sir, Do. You. Know. What. Day. It. Is?

Me: The Inlet The Reddening

Officer: (thinking the old man is delusional) Sir, I'm asking you what today's date is?

Me: I go by the Universal Solar Calendar and today is  The Inlet The Reddening. You probably call it April 18 in your calendar.

Officer: (thinking the man is a crackhead or something) Huh? Are you on something? What are you on?

Me: Right now, I'm on my ass, sitting by the side of the road.

Officer: (speaking into his police radio) Hello, dispatch? We got a possible 10-50 here. Requesting social worker and a shrink. Over.

Okay, that conversation most definitely did not happen. A work of fiction, totally made up. But seriously, I don't know what old Angus MacLise was thinking. It's one thing to name a day Day of the Lemur or Day of the Whale or Day of the Sparrow. First, Second, and Third Twelve are also all acceptable. But The Inlet The Reddening? How does that even remotely sound like a day? I mean it's lovely and poetic and all, but c'mon, it doesn't exactly roll off the tongue as a date, does it?

I suppose I should be grateful that this imaginary confrontation didn't happen on a May 24, when I would have had to answer the officer, "Shutup and Changeover."