The Retired Old Man, trying to read further lessons in the golden-years sunset of his life, threw the I Ching again today and this time drew Yu, Hexagram 16. Thunder above, earth below. It is generally the hexagram of delight or enthusiasm, an auspicious omen.

But he got the fifth line of the hexagram as his moving line. The text of that line, "Firm illness persists but there is still no death," sounds pretty ominous. Old men are not comforted by thinking about persistent illness and lingering death.  We don't delight at that prospect, although beyond a certain age we can no longer ignore its probability.

Thunder above, earth below.  I like the grounded imagery of "earth below," as long as it's not too far below the ground. Someday, I'll spend a lot of time six feet under, but until then I intend to keep the sun shining on my balding head.

Impermanence is swift, except when it isn't. I'm not afraid of dying - before I was born, I spent many, many years in non-existence and haven't suffered the least for it. I don't see a need to worry about future non-existence. But living with a lingering illness, on the death-bed surrounded by doctors, nurses, technicians, needles, scalpels, and tubes - that terrifies me. A quick, painless, and sudden death is the best that we could hope for.

Interpretations of the I Ching vary widely from one translation to the next. I've also found line five of Hexagram 16 written as, "Thorough self-diagnosis of his own affliction keeps him safely from the brink of fatal error." That sounds a lot more optimistic, and the "affliction" isn't necessarily a terminal illness - it could be egocentricism, or materialism, or insecurity. It could be anything and doesn't necessarily involve a prolonged stay in Sloan-Kettering. 

It sounds a lot more optimistic. "Self-diagnosis" could be taken as self-awareness, or knowledge of one's own nature. We go from "Firm illness persists but there is still no death" to "Know thyself to avoid fucking up."  No reason to worry the ROM further about the hospital bed.