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Not that anyone cares, but here are my Oscar picks for this year:

Best Picture

All Quiet on the Western Front - Good war movie. I like war movies. 

Avatar: The Way of Water - Didn’t see it. Thought the original was good, but over-rated.

The Banshees of Inisherin - Too slow and it took me half the film before I could understand the Irish accents. Also, I like dark comedies but this one got a little too dark in the end, what with all the cutting off fingers and all. But I liked the donkey. More movies should have donkeys.

Elvis - Didn’t see it. Why do we need an Elvis movie in 2023? Is there anything we don't already know about him? Also, no donkeys.

Everything Everywhere All at Once - That was a fun ride, and I never expected a movie that weird to be nominated for Best Picture. For all I know, there might have been a donkey in the film, but I don't remember. As the title implies, so much happens in the movie and so fast, too, that a donkey might have flashed by at some point without my noticing it. 

Top Gun: Maverick - Another fun ride, but too derivative of the original to win Best Picture IMHO.

The Fabelmans - Didn’t see it, but it will probably win because it’s Spielberg. 

Tár - Didn’t see it.  

Women Talking - Didn’t see it.

Triangle of Sadness - Didn’t see it. Didn’t even hear of it.

The Oscar might go to The Fabelmans because of Spielberg, but all the press and all the buzz seems to be about Everything, Everywhere, so that’s my prediction. My personal vote if I were one of the judges would be for All Quiet because I like action movies or for Banshees because of that donkey.

Best Actor

It will probably go to Brendan Fraser for The Whale because Hollywood loves it when actors play people with disabilities, but my vote is for Colin Farrell in The Banshees of Inisherin, not because I liked the movie but because Farrell seems cool and the kind of person I’d like to do have a Guinness with. And also because of the donkey. I loved that donkey.

Best Actress

The award should go to Ana de Armas for Blonde because she’s a total babe. Did you see her in the Blade Runner remake? Damn! However, the award will probably go to Cate Blanchett for Tár and to be honest, she deserves it - I didn't see the movie, but she should get an Oscar as some kind of lifetime achievement award. The woman's a national treasure - an Australian national treasure, to be sure but still a treasure, nonetheless.  In a perfect world, though, the award would go to Jenny the Donkey for Banshees. 

Original Score

My vote’s for Everything Everywhere All at Once because I saw the band who did the soundtrack, Son Lux, at The Earl a couple years ago (pre-covids) and they were pretty good. John Williams didn't play The Earl even once, ever.

Outstanding Mule

Easy one. The award for the mule outstanding in her field goes to Jenny the Donkey in The Banshees of Inisherin. There were horses in the calvary for All Quiet on the Western Front, but they didn't have that on-screen charisma of Jenny.