Addiction

For almost a year now, I have been addicted to playing video games.  I know that sounds like an over-statement, and I don't want to belittle the very real struggles and problems facing those with worse addictions, say to opioids, but game-playing has become a very real compulsion and I've spent untold hundreds of hours the past year playing at the expense of many other things in my life.  About two weeks ago, I finally stopped cold turkey and have been amazed at how many other things I've gotten done since quitting.

Once again, sincerely and unironically, I blame Trump for my addiction.  I started playing right about at the time of last year's election, and I found the news, not just of his election, but the press coverage, his interviews, his tweets, and his rallies, not to mention the inevitable naming of a cabinet and so on, so dispiriting and depressing, that the escape to virtual worlds of post-apocalyptic zombies, medieval dragons, and charging rhinoceri was a welcome relief from the soul-crushing news coming over the television, web sites, and my phone.  Even before the inauguration, I found myself jumping into the games just as soon as I got home from work, and playing all evening until way past my normal bedtime.  On weekends, it was not at all unusual for me to spend 12 to 16 hours each day playing games, even at the expense of preparing meals, housekeeping, and paying bills.  I even didn't go to shows for which I had already bought tickets so I could stay home and play, and if that's not addictive behavior, what is?

Oddly, the moment of clarity that led to my going cold turkey wasn't a realization of the effect it was having on my life, it was frustration with the game playing of Far Cry 4.  In many ways, the game was possibly the most compelling and exciting of the games I had played earlier in the year (Minecraft, Fallout, and Skyrim), and arguably the most beautiful (above is an actual screenshot from the game), but so many of the "quests" one has to complete in order to progress through the game are so tediously difficult, having to be played over and over again in order to complete them just right, that it became more frustrating that fun.  That, plus the fact that if you stopped playing during a quest, even if only to get some sleep and resume the next morning, you'd have to restart the whole quest from way earlier in the game and repeat all the battles and tricks and parkour moves necessary just to get back to that tedious, frustrating task you couldn't perform the previous night.  I've blogged here about this problem before. I hate to quit at anything, but finally I admitted that it just wasn't fun anymore and that I had enough, and just like that, I went cold turkey for two weeks now.

I cleaned the house, I got my finances back in order, and I took care of the water leak beneath the house.  I downloaded some music and went out to a few shows.  Life was normal again.

However . . . . there was a sale on Steam (a PC game app) and tonight I relapsed and purchased The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, another medieval fantasy game,  and Wolfenstein II, a World War II game set in a fictional  America controlled by German Nazis.  These games take several hours to download and install, so I probably won't be playing tonight, but if I don't return phone calls tomorrow, you'll know why.  

Look at it this way - if I'm going to suffer through this addiction, I might as well suffer playing games that are fun.