True Romance

We all accept that jealousy is not love (well, most of us do, anyway), but in true love - total complete love - there can be no attachment at all.

For there to be attachment presupposes that there is something separate from you to which you can be attached.  Any separation at all is something less than total intimacy.  In a state of total intimacy, there is no "other" apart from you to which an attachment can form - the "two" have become one.  Anything otherwise would be like saying you're attached to your own nose.

So, this might sound nice and romantic to those in love, but it has a practical aspect. People have told me that they want to let go of their attachments and are working on loosening the grip of their attachments, but I think they're going about it wrong.  As long as they still perceive a person or a thing separate from themselves, there will still be some trace of attachment.  To lose the attachment completely, they should stop thinking of a separation between self and other.

Okay, fine, but how do you do that?  You can't make others disappear - you can't stop perceiving someone as separate from yourself, at least as long as you still perceive a "self."  But if you drop away all trace of ego-self, then there would be nothing left to contrast with "others."  So to completely and intimately love without any jealousy or attachment, one has to stop perceiving the self.

Okay, fine, but how do you do that?  It's simple really - sit somewhere quiet and without forcing it let thought drop away, and when there's no more thinking, poof!, there's no more thinker.  

Try it - it's probably the most romantic thing you can do.