Thursday, August 04, 2005

How to Drive to Hilton Head

1. Stop in the office in the morning. Plan on being there only an hour or two, but get stuck on business until 3:00 p.m.

2. Stop home after the office to pack. Take a phone call, reply to email, and don't get on the road until 4:30.

3. Hit Atlanta at the height of rush hour.

4. Once you clear the Perimeter, chat on the phone with a hot Brazilian girl you've met to relieve the stress as you crawl along at 25 mph.

5. After the traffic finally breaks, crank up the music on the CD and try to make up for lost time (suggested listening: The Orb, "U.F. Orb, CDs 1 and 2").

6. On I-16 between Macon and Savannah, the longest, flattest, straightest, most boring stretch of Interstate Highway in Georgia, amuse yourself by taking pictures over the steering wheel of the road ahead.

7. As you approach Savannah, take a picture of the setting sun in the sideview mirror.

8. Cruise around Hilton Head Island until you get your bearings, and then find your hotel.

9. Check into hotel at 10:00 p.m., and try to stiffle your disappointment that the room isn't what you had hoped it would be. At least you're not in Pascagoula.

10. Repeat steps 1-9 as necessary.

No comments: