Top 10 List

First, allow me to understate that this was not the most exciting Saturday in my life. I slept late, did a little grocery shopping, and then went up on the roof and cleaned off the debris from four hurricanes and the autumn so far. I collected a total of 15 large bags of branches and leaves, and only stopped then because I ran out of leaf bags. Afterwards, I was soaked in sweat, smelled like exhaust from the leaf blower, and needed a shower and a nap, both urgently, and couldn't decide which to do first (I'd like to say that I did them simultaneously, but I'm not sure how to do that, so I'll confess that I took the shower and skipped the nap). Since I have nothing much to say, however, let me share this "Top 10" list I found in the newsgroups (in slightly different form - I edited it some for my own purposes):

From: Hell Pope Huey
Date: 26 Oct 2004
Subject: 10 Things To Hate About Everyone


1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". What damned good is a cake if you can't eat it? Idiot.

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?

5. When people say while watching a film "Did you see that?" No,loser, I pay good money to go to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" You gave me no choice,did you, sunshine?

7. When something is "new and improved!" Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". Life is the longest thing anyone ever experiences. What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus had come, would I be standing there?

10. People who ask me if I went to Budapest last summer because I'm a Zen Buddhist - sure, Einstein, everyone knows the Buddha was Hungarian, and that Zen is an Eastern European tradition . . .

I may also have an eleventh: Blogger's spell checker. It's got to be one of the world's worst! While composing the above, I misspelled "slightly" as "s-l-i-g-h-l-t-y," transposing the second- and third-to-last letters. Blogger's spell checker found the error, but instead of figuring out the transposition and suggesting the correct spelling, it offered only the word "saleslady" as an alternative. Where's the "i," where's the "g" and where's the "h" is "saleslady?" Where are the "a's" in "slightly?" Aaargh!!!!

That's it for now. Happy Halloween, and don't forget to turn your clocks back an hour!