"Fuck!" was the first word out of my mouth when I woke up at 7:17 a.m. this morning. First of all, I had gotten maybe about three hours sleep that night, and I was supposed to meet K. at 7:30 at Starbucks (13 minutes and counting). Second, I thought I had set the alarm clock for 6:15 a.m., but apparently I had forgotten to switch the thing on. Third, although I could technically still make it to Starbucks on time, I had not shaved or showered the day before, so I had a two-day beard growth and looked and smelled like I hadn't bathed since Friday, which, in fact, I hadn't. So, what to do? Meet K. on time, drive with her to Chattanooga all un-shaved and -showered and spend the whole day like that? Hop in the shower, be late meeting K., and arrive in Chattanooga behind schedule? What was I going to do? I had to decide right then (11 minutes and counting).
I opted for the shower. Shaving my head as quickly as I could without drawing blood, I rushed through the shower, running a bar of soap under my arms and through my crotch in a speed-cleaning process that only guys attempt. Rinsed off, and shaved my face without cream. Just as I finished this and was making the bed (my condo is for sale - wanna buy a condo? - and everything has to be just so at all times, especially on realtor-rich Sundays), the phone rang (7:29 a.m. - one minute to go). It was K. of course, but fortunately she had followed the directions to Starbucks that I had given her and so therefore had made one wrong turn and was running a few minutes late herself. I straightened her out (that is, corrected my misdirection) and told her I was a few minutes behind, got dressed, got out the door and was at Starbucks by 7:45.
It's about a two-hour drive from Atlanta to Chattanooga, so we got up there by around 9:30, washed a bagel down with black coffee, and went to the Clear Light Yoga Center on North Market Street for an all-day sitting with the Chattanooga Zen Center. Zazen, zen meditation, is best done with a calm, well-rested mind, but between the three hours (maybe) sleep, the rushed awakening, and the drive north, I was anything but. However, much to my surprise, I was able to settle in pretty well and actually got some good sitting in between 10 and 12.
I have been associated with the Chattanooga group for a little over a year now, and my main purposes in going up there this time were to participate in their first all-day sit and to attend the Zen initiation of two new members. The initiation ceremony was performed at noon, after which we all walked across the street for lunch back at the same restaurant where K. and I had washed the bagels down with black coffee two or three hours earlier. At two o'clock, we resumed the zazen sitting for a somewhat intense three straight hours and were done by five.
Dogen once said that practice and enlightenment are one. That is to say, zazen practice is not a means to an end, and zazen and enlightenment are not cause and effect - they are the exact same thing, a seamless whole, one. Which is to say that sitting in zazen is not like achieving enlightenment, it IS the actualization of enlightenment. The only problem is, while absorbed in the single-pointed concentration of Zen meditation, one does not think "Oh! Look at this - I am enlightened." The very moment a single thought like that appears in one's mind, zazen is over, and enlightenment, as they say, has left the building. So, for at least some of the five hours we were sitting there, K., myself and 10 or so others were buddhas, practicing at a yoga center in downtown Chattanooga, Tennessee. Not a bad outcome for a day that had started so rudely.
And I got home in time to watch "The Sopranos."
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