Secrets of the Essence Chamber, 50th Day of Hagwinter. 525 M.E. (Aldebaran): Rohatsu. Monks around the world tremble in anticipation. On this eighth (and final) day of the practice period, the actual day itself, I sat for 5½ hours, bringing my grand total going back to November 30 to 31½ hours.

It feels inappropriate to talk publicly about the number of hours. It feels like bragging, and bragging about the wrong metric at that. It's quality, not quantity, but the quantity does still matter. For what it's worth, the posts here these last few days weren't addressed to some public I imagine is out there reading this like I was some sort of Instagram influencer, it's written for and to myself to encourage me to keep on going.

The past few days have been my own personal sesshin, really the first I've ever done without a sangha. It's so, so easy to just quit, to throw in the towel and say "that's enough for one day." Sitting with others encourages one to keep on going, and for me, documenting my effort in this personal web log was a form of encouragement.

Last month, contemplating the upcoming Rohatsu week, I set myself a personal  goal to sit every day of the week instead of my usual schedule of every other day, and, starting with my usual 90 minutes, to add a half hour every day. I made a commitment and today I completed the task I set for myself.

All this while maintaining my alternating-day walking schedule (although at fewer miles each day in the interest of time) and making daily calls to my brother-in-law in Massachusetts to support him as he cares for my sister in her recovery from cancer surgery. Also, I somehow managed to sneak a David Byrne concert into there and, possibly not unrelated, to catch a cold.

It's over. Done. On to the next thing.

Happy, Rohatsu, y'all.

 

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